OCMA statistics: 11,800 Russian citizens left Latvia — Liepāja market still searching for where all the vendors disappeared to

While OCMA proudly counts departed Russians, Liepāja Market is starting to understand why it's been so quiet lately and where those who sold everything for half the price of Riga went.
The OCMA commission announced sensational statistics on Tuesday — in less than four years, 11,800 Russian citizens with valid residence permits left Latvia. While Riga counts papers and boasts about numbers, a real detective investigation has begun at Liepāja market — where did all those vendors who offered the freshest products for half the price of the capital disappear to?
OCMA representative Briede talks about complicated processes where 30,000 people needed to pass a language exam at A2 level. "I think they simply weren't ready for the beauty of our Latvian language," comments local trader Jānis. "But now that they're gone, I have to explain myself why my beets are better than Riga's."
Statistics show that 2,600 people emigrated voluntarily, while 84 received deportation orders. There were no such dramatic events in Liepāja — everyone understood that if you live in a city where the wind blows straight from the heart, you can learn the language by listening to "Prāta Vētra" songs on Liepāja beach.
Now only 15,000 people with EU status and 1,238 with national permits remain with valid permits. "Numbers are numbers," philosophically concludes local trader Marija, "but the most important thing is that we still have the best fish in all of the Baltics, and no one can take that away from us."
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.