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Police Annual Report: Thieves in Riga, Only Tram Ticket Inspectors in Liepaja

Written by: Vējš
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Police Annual Report: Thieves in Riga, Only Tram Ticket Inspectors in Liepaja

State Police presents statistics where Liepaja once again shines with its orderliness - while thieves operate in the capital, the biggest problems in our city are caused by forgotten tram tickets.

State Police Chief Armands Ruks announced that last year's crime statistics are led by Daugavpils and Riga. Liepaja once again stays off this 'honorable' list, as the biggest problem here is forgotten tram tickets and cases where someone in Karosta tries to steal a seal sculpture.

As local Karosta resident Janis tells us: 'Our only problems here are with those who try to ride the tram without a ticket. Oh, and sometimes a tourist tries to take sand from the beach home - but police solve that quickly too.'

Meanwhile, the increase in fraud cases has mainly affected the capital, where people still believe they can buy an apartment in Riga for Liepaja prices. In our city, scammers don't even try to operate - everyone knows each other here, and if someone calls with a weird offer, you immediately know it's Aigars from Grobina who's made up something again.

Police statistics particularly emphasize the increase in sex crimes against minors - it should be noted that Liepaja has no such cases, as local fathers with their Liepaja character quickly resolve any questionable situations. As one old town cafe owner said: 'It's simple here - if someone behaves inappropriately, they quickly get a meeting with the local fishermen and then think long about their life choices.'

So it turns out that while Riga police fight serious problems, Liepaja's biggest challenge is convincing tourists they can't take Karosta prison bricks as souvenirs.

⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.

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