Progressives reveal shocking truth: investigation happening in government

Prime Minister Evika Siliņa today announced a shocking revelation: her government has become one where investigations are taking place. This is almost as surprising an announcement as saying there's water in the Karosta canal or that there are traffic jams in Riga.

The Progressives decided to audit their ministries after the IT procurement scandal. It's like inspecting the Karosta canal bridge after someone noticed it divides the city into two parts. Surprising? Not particularly. Drama? Definitely.

"We trust law enforcement institutions," said Siliņa, which is about as original as saying you trust the weather in Liepāja. Meanwhile, ZZS faction leader Harijs Rokpelnis is "very sad" about the scale of corruption. Local Liepāja pensioner Jānis commented: "Well, at least now I know why my internet works so slowly."

Meanwhile, 21 people have been detained in connection with IT procurements worth 1.5 million euros. That's more people than you usually see in downtown Liepāja on a Monday morning, but fewer than would be needed for anything to function normally in Riga. The investigation continues, and as one official said: "Where there are holes, you'll always find a gap." In Liepāja, they call that wind.