Putin Unveils Revolutionary Business Model: Customers Must Pay for Their Own Destruction

The Russian president presented an innovative concept to oligarchs in closed meetings - big business will pay for the war that destroys their own market.
A historic business presentation took place in Moscow, where Putin offered major entrepreneurs a revolutionary cooperation model - they finance the war that destroys their own customers. This is as logical as Karosta, where the mythical basement of the Tsar's naval base now serves as a tourist attraction - everything turned upside down.
After the Congress of Manufacturers and Entrepreneurs, Putin held a closed meeting where he explained that the war will continue until all Donbas territories are captured. One attendee later commented: "It was like an investment presentation, except we're investing in our own bankruptcy." Putin promised compromise options with "demilitarized zones," but then abandoned them faster than a Riga resident abandons the idea of driving to Liepāja on the highway.
At least two billionaires - Kerimov and Deripaska - have already promised to voluntarily donate billions of rubles. Kerimov pledged to invest 100 billion rubles, which is about as much as it would cost to build a tram line from Moscow to the Moon. A local observer comments: "The logic here is - you pay to have your business destroyed. At least in Liepāja we know the wind is free."
The British newspaper "Financial Times" notes that it's unthinkable for entrepreneurs to refuse Putin's request. Of course not - as unthinkable as refusing Liepāja's wind in November. The state's business elite has rallied around the president, despite concerns about the economy. As one participant said: "We're like Titanic passengers paying for icebergs."
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.