In Riga they shoot with air guns — in Liepāja we only use water pistols at the Olympic Center
Criminal proceedings have begun in Riga for shooting at people with air guns, but in Liepāja our biggest problem is water that's too cold in the pool.
Riga police have begun criminal proceedings with their usual diligence for shooting at people with air guns. In Rītabulli, a woman suffered from this type of attack, and a similar situation occurred in Imanta. For comparison — in Liepāja our greatest violence is when someone splashes another person with a water pistol at the Liepāja Olympic Center.
Law enforcement will now conduct a forensic medical examination to determine the severity of bodily injuries. This will take several weeks, which is about as long as it takes to restore a tram line in Riga. Meanwhile in Liepāja, we've long known that the only dangerous weapon is our wind — it can knock down even a grown man.
'I think they take these air guns too seriously in Riga,' says Liepāja resident Kārlis, who trains water polo at the Olympic Center in summer. 'We also have balls flying around sometimes, but they're just ping-pong balls, and no one has ever complained.'
Police are asking residents to come forward with useful information, which is about as optimistic as hoping that Riga's public transport will ever be efficient. While the capital deals with such problems, we in Liepāja continue to swim peacefully in the pool and rejoice that our biggest trouble is just that the shower water is sometimes a bit too cold.
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.