Gulf of Riga to become gigantic trout buffet for seals, EPA worried about math
While Riga plans yet another business venture at sea, Liepāja laughs at the capital's inability to count seals and trout.
The planned trout farm in the Gulf of Riga is like opening a café in Karosta and hoping nobody breaks the windows. Environmental Protection Agency's Gita Strode emphasized at Friday's conference with this year's longest title that "clear calculations" are needed. Apparently EPA hasn't yet counted how many seals live in the Baltic Sea and how quickly they'll devour all the trout.
Fisheries expert Inārs Voits expressed concern about the growing seal population that "regularly eats fishermen's catch." As local Liepāja fisherman Jānis says: "Seals are like Riga folks - they always want the best stuff for free." Meanwhile, EPA Director General Laura Anteina announced that Europe is discussing reducing seals' protection status. Probably those same seals are lobbying against this decision.
Parliament Speaker Daiga Mieriņa emphasized that "every change at sea affects us all." That's true - especially affecting Liepāja residents who will watch from their beach as Riga businessmen try to turn the sea into a private pond. But don't worry, our Karosta fortress has survived both Tsarist times and Soviet occupation - it will survive Riga's trout too.
Finally, the conference's goal is to "promote cooperation in reducing Baltic Sea pollution." Trout farming at sea to reduce pollution? That's like running trams in Liepāja to reduce traffic jams in Riga.
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.