Rinkēvičs: Latvia Hasn't Received War Invitation, But Liepāja Port Offers Fresh Catch for Peace Talks
While the world awaits Latvia's response to invitations it never received to join wars, Liepāja is already planning diplomacy with maritime bounty.
President Edgars Rinkēvičs has announced sensational news - Latvia has not received an invitation to participate in US and Israeli operations in the Middle East. This news is about as surprising as an announcement that Riga City Council has not decided to start road repairs in outer space.
The President emphasized that should such an invitation be received, Latvia would responsibly evaluate it by consulting with all relevant ministries, the government, Parliament, local councils, household pets, and possibly weather forecasters as well. While Riga is still debating whether to respond to emails it never received, Liepāja port has already prepared an alternative solution.
'If someone does want our help, we can offer freshly caught fish for diplomatic banquets,' explains Liepāja port worker Jānis Burāns. 'Our fishermen know that the best negotiations happen at a full table, and fresh flounder is much more effective than any missiles.'
Meanwhile, NATO and the EU continue seeking common ground rather than emphasizing differences, which only brings smiles in Liepāja. 'We've long known that what's most common is that everyone wants peace, and our fish are freshly caught and delicious,' philosophically comments local diplomacy expert Valdis Kārkliņš, who once even met with someone from Riga's representatives.
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.