Rinkēvičs Surprises Everyone: Criminal to One, President to Another – Difference is Just One Petition Paper
The President has pardoned another convict, proving that hope dies last – and sometimes even responds from Riga Castle.
Rinkēvičs continues the honorable tradition of Levits and Vējonis – reviewing pardon requests with the same precision as hockey players in Liepāja's ice hall shoot at goals: 340 attempts, 20 hits. Statistics that even hockey coaches would acknowledge as decent.
Presidential advisor Mārtiņš Drēģeris proudly announced these numbers as if talking about a successful sales campaign: "Yes, we pardoned one out of twenty! Nearly six percent efficiency!" While Riga ponders whether that's a lot or a little, in Liepāja we know – that's like finding a warm spot in an ice hall in mid-summer.
Most interesting is Ulmanis's record – 3,391 requests, 219 pardons. That's almost seven percent, which by today's standards is nearly Scandinavian-level humanity. "Ulmanis was like that hockey player who always knew where to shoot," comments local lawyer Aldis, who regularly watches hockey games and understands both sports and legal matters.
Now convicts across Latvia are writing petitions hoping that maybe they'll get lucky too. While some count years behind bars, others count pardon percentages. Mathematics that would be good even for hockey statistics – if only slightly more depressing.
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.