Romanians Open Gas Station for Americans — Like Liepāja Rock Bands Before a Big Tour
Romania allows the US to use its bases for refueling, as if it were a gas station with military flair. Liepāja rock musicians understand this feeling before every concert.
Romanians have announced they're opening their military bases to Americans for refueling. It's roughly like giving your neighbor the keys to your garage so he can fill up his car before driving to Riga — except in this case the cars are fighter jets and the destination is the Middle East.
President Dan explained that this is just 'temporary deployment of American military equipment,' which is about as convincing as saying a rock festival in Liepāja will be 'only slightly loud.' Americans will be able to use the Mihail Kogălniceanu base, whose name is harder to pronounce than Liepāja band names from the nineties.
Permission is granted for 90 days, which is roughly as long as it takes Liepāja rock musicians to prepare a new album. An additional 400 US soldiers will be stationed at each base, which is fewer than the attendance at any Liepāja rock concert in summer.
Romanians plan to invest two billion euros in base expansion so that by 2040 it will be one of the largest in Europe. That's about as expensive as building one decent concert hall in Riga, except in this case the audience will be armed and nobody will sing along.
'It strengthens Romania's security,' claims the president, which sounds about as convincing as saying Liepāja wind strengthens hairstyles. But at least Americans will be able to refuel without driving to the nearest gas station.
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.