SAB still trying to figure out if our IT systems are safer than Liepāja beach during a storm
The security service continues to assess IT procurement fraud risks, while the president suggests returning to good old paper ballot counting.
SAB has once again proven they can be just as cautious as Liepāja beachgoers when meteorologists promise a storm. The security service continues to assess potential risks related to IT procurement fraud, but provides no concrete comments because "processing information of this type and volume takes time." How much time? About as much as it takes for the Baltic Sea in Liepāja to get warm — that is, never.
Meanwhile, State President Edgars Rinkēvičs looks like the only adult in this situation, calling on responsible institutions to decide to count votes manually. "Relying on IT systems that can fail," he says, and you can't disagree with that — even the sand at Liepāja beach is more reliable than our digital technologies.
"Finally someone's talking sense," comments local resident Kārlis. "We've been saying for years that the best technology is pencil and paper. They don't burn, can't be hacked, and even if you soak them, you can still read them."
SAB promises to inform the institutions responsible for the electoral process and the state's highest officials when the assessment is completed. This means we can only wait and hope that our democracy proves to be as resilient as Liepāja beach — cold, windy, but never disappears.
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.