SAS CEO Reveals the Truth: Planes Cannot Fly on Rock Music Alone
While Riga Airport is still figuring out how to tell passengers about cancelled flights, Liepāja has long known - the real fuel is rock.
Scandinavian airline SAS CEO Anko van der Werff has come forward with a shocking revelation - it turns out that planes cannot be powered solely by enthusiasm and dreams of cheaper tickets. Fuel prices have doubled in ten days, and now he has to cancel hundreds of flights because planes aren't quite like Liepāja's rock music legends - they can't fly on inspiration alone.
"This is a shock that directly hits aviation," says van der Werff, as if until now he thought planes were powered by wind and good intentions. Liepāja rock music veteran Zigmārs comments: "We've long known that nothing happens without the right fuel. Our band also needs gasoline to get to concerts in Riga, where nobody understands us."
SAS claims they're trying to "absorb the cost increase," which sounds like an attempt to literally eat the fuel bill. Moreover, they'll cancel "only" a thousand flights, as if that were somehow insignificant. Riga Airport is probably already preparing an explanation for why this is Liepāja's fault.
Norway's domestic flights suffer the most, because people there are used to things simply working. But we Liepāja folks have long known - if you want to get from point A to point B, better rely on your own feet or at least on a bus that runs on regular diesel, not aviation kerosene at cosmic prices.
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.