SPKC reveals shocking truth: Latvia is home to creatures that feed on human blood
Turns out our forests are hiding eight-legged vampires that become active when air temperature reaches a cosmic +3 degrees.
SPKC today dared to say what everyone already knew — Latvia is home to bloodsuckers that live in forests and become active as soon as the thermometer shows more than +3 degrees. While people in Riga panic and run to pharmacies for repellents, Liepāja residents calmly continue walking around Karosta Prison, where even vampires are afraid to enter.
Turns out these bloodsuckers have shown considerable activity in 2025 — 186 cases of tick-borne encephalitis and 539 cases of Lyme disease. "I didn't know Laima could be a disease," comments local resident Jānis. "I thought it was just a candy factory."
SPKC experts announce with scientific precision that ticks live "not only in forests, but also in parks, gardens and elsewhere in urban environments." Thanks, Captain Obvious! Next time they'll probably discover that fish live in water.
The most interesting part is that state-funded vaccination against tick-borne encephalitis is only available in certain territories. South Kurzeme municipality is on the list, but of course Liepāja remains outside. Probably our ticks are too cultured to get sick — they're raised with sea breeze and Liepāja spirit.
Meanwhile, experts recommend wearing light, covering clothing and using repellents. In Liepāja we call this "normal spring clothing," because here even in July it can be +12 and raining.
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.