Switzerland Finally Realizes It Can't Do Anything Without the EU, But Liepāja's Tram Has Been Running Without Contracts for 100 Years
After years of negotiations, the Swiss have decided to pay the EU 375 million annually so they can continue selling their expensive watches. In Liepāja, the tram has been running for free for a century.
Brussels has announced that EU member states support closer cooperation with Switzerland. The Swiss, who for years have behaved like that rich neighbor who doesn't want to share candy, have finally realized that without the EU they're like Liepāja's Karosta without its military history – empty and useless.
What's most surprising is that Switzerland is ready to pay 375 million euros annually to EU funds. "Well, that's a normal price for being able to continue trading their watches and chocolate," comments local economist Jānis Liepiņš from Grobiņas Street. "Our tram has been running for 100 years without any agreements with Brussels, and everything works fine!"
Swiss President Guy Parmelin plans to go to Brussels in early March to sign agreements. Meanwhile, the local People's Party, which is like the skeptics of Liepāja's rock music festival who say "too loud" but still come to listen, has vowed to delay the process as long as possible.
The most ridiculous part is that the Swiss might hold a referendum in 2027. While they're there voting on every little thing, Liepāja has long since solved all issues – if the tram runs, it means everything's fine. If you can swim at the beach, life is good. What other contracts do you need?
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.