Sunday Road Report: 78 Accidents, 10 Injured — Riga Drivers Once Again Outperform Karosta Prison Visitor Numbers
While capital city drivers demonstrate creativity in organizing traffic accidents, in Liepāja we manage to reach our destinations without drama even during storms.
On Sunday, Latvia's roads transformed into a real adventure park where 78 accidents featured 10 brave participants. These numbers have surpassed Karosta Prison visitor statistics for the third week running, indicating that Riga residents have discovered a new form of extreme tourism — driving on their own streets.
The Riga region showed the most creativity, where four drivers decided that alcohol is the best fuel for winter conditions. In Zemgale, two colleagues supported this initiative, while in Latgale one patriot took responsibility for the entire region. In the Kurzeme region, where Liepāja is located, the statistics are so negligible they're barely worth mentioning — our drivers apparently haven't yet mastered modern driving methods.
"I don't understand how they do it," says local auto service owner Gunārs. "Here even in the biggest storm we get a scratched mirror at most, but they manage to create entire accident chains up there. It's an artist's work!"
The speeding violation count — 213 — shows that Latvian drivers have mastered mathematics: the higher the speed, the faster you reach your destination. Or the hospital. This logic works especially well if you ignore physics, geometry, and basic common sense.
Meanwhile in Liepāja we continue driving the old way — carefully, slowly, and with understanding that the road is a shared space, not enemy territory. But if someone wants real adrenaline, they can always visit Karosta Prison — at least there you're guaranteed to survive.
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.