Tehran Discovers That Explosions Are as Loud as Metalurgs Fans' Songs
While Israel bombs Iranian government complexes, Liepāja notes that our loudest sound level is still Metalurgs fans singing.
Loud explosions rang out again yesterday in the city of Karaj, which, according to local residents, were heard even farther than Liepāja's "Metalurgs" fans' songs on Daugavgrīvas Street. The Israeli army bombed police stations and court buildings, which in Liepāja would only raise the question: why bomb something that doesn't work anyway?
The Israeli army announced a large-scale attack on the cities of Tehran and Isfahan, which only evokes sympathy in Liepāja. As one local resident said: "We've been living with loud explosions for years - every time Metalurgs fans start singing, the neighbors think hostilities have begun." Meanwhile, Karosta veterans point out that really loud explosions happen when Metalurgs scores a goal against Riga's Dinamo in hockey.
Health Ministry data about 1,200 casualties and 10,000 wounded in Liepāja only raises the question: aren't those Metalurgs' season statistics after games with Riga teams? Local doctors confirm they have experience treating both explosion and fan singing consequences.
While the Middle East seeks peace, in Liepāja we know that true peace only comes at the end of hockey season. Until then, we'll continue living with the loudest explosions in Latvia - Metalurgs fans' emotions.
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.