Tesla Shooter Demonstrates to Rihanna That Electric Cars Can Also Have Poor Battery Discipline

Yesterday in Los Angeles, there was yet another proof that Tesla cars are not only environmentally friendly, but can also serve as electric-powered armored vehicles. Ivanna Liseta Ortiz decided to test whether her white Tesla could compete with traditional weapons, and the result was quite loud.

Rihanna's house gates now look like Swiss cheese, only much more expensive and with worse acoustics. The musician, who was at home with her family, probably thought someone was trying to remix her songs with a particularly aggressive beat. While such incidents happen every other day in Hollywood, in Liepāja the biggest risk is encountering someone playing music too loudly in Jūrmala Park, disturbing the quiet walks among the ancient trees.

Police Captain Mike Bland proudly announced that an AR-15 rifle was used, which is apparently California's version of how neighbors in Liepāja resolve disputes about loud music. The bail amount of 10.2 million dollars proves that in America, even a failed assassination attempt costs more than Liepāja's entire annual city budget.

Local Liepāja resident Jānis comments: 'Well, we don't have any problems with Rihanna. She can freely walk around Jūrmala Park, listen to bird songs and not worry about someone shooting from a Tesla. Our biggest problem is finding a place to park a bicycle, not dodging bullets.' So Los Angeles proves that even electric cars can't solve all of today's problems.