Trump Reveals Strategy: First Four Months, Then Blame Europe for Everything

While tourists in Liepāja pay money at Karosta Prison to experience horror with ghost stories and dark cells, US President Trump has revealed that his presidency operates on a similar principle — first make everyone scared, then go home and encourage others to continue the show.

Trump and his advisors have concluded that unblocking the Strait of Hormuz could take longer than four to six weeks. "It's not like opening the Karosta bridge in Liepāja, where you know exactly when it will happen and how long you'll have to wait," commented an anonymous source. "This is much more complicated — first you have to shoot down Iran's fleet, then destroy the missiles, and then figure out what to do with the result."

Most interesting is that after ending hostilities, Trump plans to simply encourage Europe to take the lead in opening the strait. "Hormuz is much more important to European, Middle Eastern and Asian countries than to the US," the president announced, apparently forgetting that the US started this whole circus.

While Riga is still trying to figure out where the Strait of Hormuz is on the map, Liepāja residents already understand this strategy — first make a mess, then say: "Well, now you have to deal with it yourselves." Just like local contractors do after finishing renovations.