Trump complains: Brits won't allow anything, but in Liepāja's Karosta we would have already won

Trump is bitter towards the Brits because they only allowed use of their bases after lengthy deliberation. "We had the strongest relationship, now we don't," laments the president, as if talking about his dating history.

In Liepāja there wouldn't be such problems. "When something needs to be decided, we go to Karosta — everything's clear there. Either you do it or you don't. No parliaments and committees," comments local resident Jānis, who regularly solves world problems near Liepāja market. "But these Brits with their 'need to think, need to weigh, need to discuss' — the tram would have time to circle all of Liepāja three times!"

Starmer defends his slow decision-making, saying he learned from Iraq's mistakes. In Liepāja they laugh about this — our only mistakes are sometimes incorrectly predicting whether the tram will run on time today. "It's simple for us — if someone shoots rockets, we respond with a rock music festival. More effective than any military operation," adds market vendor Zenta.

In Riga, of course, there wouldn't be such problems, because there nobody lets anything through without ten committee opinions. But in Liepāja we know — the best relationships are built on the beach with cold beer, not by launching rockets.