Rocket Concert Begins in Middle East — Liepāja Claims Holy Trinity Cathedral Organ Sounds Louder

Iran yesterday decided to show Israel its latest rocket collection, launching projectiles through the air for three hours with the same enthusiasm that Riga's municipality shows when spending taxpayers' money. Local media called it the most intense attack since the war began, but Liepāja just smiled — our Holy Trinity Cathedral organ is the largest in the Baltics, and its sound can be felt from the courtyard without any rockets whatsoever.

Israel, of course, wasn't left owing anyone and intercepted most of the rockets, also proving that their air defense works better than Riga's traffic flow. Jerusalem did hear sirens and explosions, but in Tel Aviv only a few people were injured — better statistics than Riga's street potholes.

Saudi Arabia announced it intercepted seven rockets and seven drones, two of which were flying toward oil facilities. Apparently someone had mixed up GPS coordinates with Riga Central Market addresses. Kuwait and Bahrain also heard alarm sirens, but at least there they knew these weren't related to our national holiday fireworks.

Iran's Revolutionary Guard Corps also announced it had shelled Iraqi Kurdistan, thus proving that their geographical knowledge is as precise as Riga's city council when planning urban development. While this technological dialogue continues in the Middle East, Liepāja peacefully continues enjoying our superiority — our sound effects are natural and don't harm the environment.