Counting Olympics Begin in Middle East — Everyone Counts Their Own Victims
While in the Middle East everyone counts their victims like grains of sand on Liepāja beach on a windy day, in Liepāja they think mathematics has always been complicated.
An unprecedented counting competition is currently taking place in the Middle East, where each region is trying to prove that their mathematics is the most reliable. Iran announces 1,230 victims, US organization HRANA counts 1,708, but Israel insists on 13. Such arithmetic would only raise questions in Liepāja — did these people study mathematics at the same school as our municipal services, who count potholes on streets differently every year?
Various Middle Eastern countries report their losses with such precision, as if they had counted every grain of sand on Liepāja beach after a particularly stormy day. Kuwait reports six, UAE — also six, Saudi Arabia — two. Such precise coordination makes one wonder if there isn't some centralized counting bureau distributing numbers in alphabetical order.
Local Liepāja mathematics teacher Ernests Kalniņš comments: "If my students counted like this in tests, I'd think they had conspired. But here, it seems, they haven't conspired — everyone counts according to their own method." While the Middle East continues demonstrating the art of counting, on Liepāja beach the Baltic Sea coldly and windily reminds us that some numbers are so serious that they shouldn't be joked about.
In truth, such a tragic situation is not worth joking about, and the only thing one can hope for is that all these different numbers will sooner or later become zeros — not because mathematics has changed, but because the warfare will finally stop.
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.