Middle East learns from Liepāja tram schedule - attacks now also running late
Israel reports that Iranian missiles are flying less frequently - perhaps they're learning from our public transport experience.
While we in Liepāja have known for years that the best defense is unpredictability, the Middle East is finally starting to master this art. Israeli army representative Nadav Shoshani announced that Iranian attack intensity is decreasing, which, in our opinion, is clear proof that they're finally starting to learn from Liepāja's experience.
"It reminds me of our tram — it also runs irregularly, but that's exactly why nobody knows when to expect the next one," comments local conflict expert Jānis Bērziņš from Karosta. "In Riga, of course, everything runs on schedule, but that's boring. Our method is much more effective."
Shoshani talks about hundreds of destroyed missiles, but we in Liepāja have nothing to destroy — we simply let things happen when they happen. Hezbollah fires dozens of missiles every day, but Liepāja's tram runs when it feels like it. Which is more effective? The answer is obvious.
Meanwhile, local residents watch the developments with understanding: "Well, at least they're learning," says Zenta from the Center. "But we've long known that the best tactic is to do what nobody expects. That's why our cafes are open when they're open, and closed when they're closed. It's strategic." Today in Liepāja it's cloudy in some places, but others are clear — exactly the kind of weather forecast that the Middle East is still learning to understand.
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.