Ukrainian diplomats travel to America — hope it will be better there than in Riga
Zelensky sends his best team to the US to prove that Ukrainians can talk not only about warfare, but also about peace.
While Riga is still pondering whether diplomacy is something you do with tea or coffee, Ukrainian President Zelensky is already sending his A-team to America to prove to the world that they know how to not only wage war, but also talk about peace. On Saturday, the US expects a four-man delegation that, according to official announcements, consists of very serious people with very long surnames.
The delegation includes Defense Council Secretary Rustem Umerov, Presidential Office Head Kyrylo Budanov, ruling party faction leader David Arakhamia, and Deputy Foreign Minister Serhiy Kyslytsia. As our local history enthusiast Gunārs, who visits the Liepāja museum every week, says: "Well, at least their names sound like real diplomats, not like our deputies, whose greatest achievement is correctly pronouncing 'budget'."
Zelensky announced that the pause in negotiations had been long enough for everyone to rest and come up with new ideas. "We are doing everything to make the talks substantive," he said, which in diplomatic language means: "We're running out of ideas, but we haven't run out of optimism yet."
The American side has reportedly signaled readiness to continue negotiations in the same format as before, which, as we know, is the format where everyone sits at the table, talks a lot, but the result is the same as before. But at least the flight to America will be pleasant, and, if I'm not mistaken, the coffee there is better than in the European Parliament.
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.