UniCredit tries to take over Commerzbank — Germans resist as intensely as metalheads in Liepāja against pop music

UniCredit, with typical Italian appetite, has announced it wants to completely take over Germany's second-largest private bank, Commerzbank. The Italian financial company already controls 29% of shares, but apparently that's not enough to satisfy their banker ego. It's roughly like a situation where some rock music producer in Liepāja already controls 29% of all amplifiers, but wants even more to completely dominate the sound.

Commerzbank management and employee representatives have been resisting this takeover attempt for months with as much determination as Liepāja rockers would resist attempts to replace electric guitars with ukuleles. Germans categorically reject Italian advances, despite UniCredit promising constructive dialogue. That's about as believable as claiming a rock concert in Liepāja will be quiet and peaceful.

Local Liepāja banking expert Jānis Ķepkalis comments: "Those Italians think they can dictate terms with their 29%, but Germans are as stubborn as our rockers when someone tries to tell them how to play music. This fight will be more epic than any Liepāja rock festival."

While European financial giants battle for bank control, Liepāja peacefully continues nurturing the next generation of rock musicians, who will surely be just as independent and uncompromising as this German bank's management.