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Government reveals: bus fleets can be fed money just like zoo animals

Written by: Vējš
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Government reveals: bus fleets can be fed money just like zoo animals

The Public Transport Council has decided to pay compensations to two bus fleets, proving that buses can be just as expensive pets as baby pandas.

While Riga is still trying to explain to passengers why a bus that's listed as "running" is actually parked and contemplating the meaning of life, the government has discovered a revolutionary concept — bus fleets can be paid compensations for doing what they're supposed to do anyway.

Liepāja bus fleet will receive 83,441 euros, while their Daugavpils colleagues will pocket considerably more — 118,327 euros. "That's fair," comments local expert Jānis Bremze, "because in Daugavpils bus drivers need to speak at least three languages so passengers can understand why the bus isn't running."

The most thrilling part is that the "Lux Express Latvia" application is still "in the home stretch," which in public transport language means the documents are still looking for the right office. Kristīne Grīviņa from ATD explains that a "data acquisition process" is underway, which sounds as terrifying as a tour of Karosta prison — nobody really knows what will happen, but everyone's scared.

And even better news — in April 2026, carriers will receive 1.45 million euros in advance to compensate for fuel price increases. This is as logical as paying for snow in winter in Liepāja — we know it will happen, so we'll pay in advance. "Finally someone understood that buses don't run on air," says Karosta resident Valdis, who has been cycling for years because he understands transport economics better than the government.

⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.

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