Government Finally to Define What Active Lifestyle Is: Running From Problems Doesn't Count
Siliņa promises new Sports Law that will finally clarify whether walking to the store for beer counts as sports. Funding plans to be based not on unforeseen circumstances, but on foreseen unforeseen circumstances.
The government will review the new Sports Law on Tuesday, which promises to revolutionarily define what exactly constitutes an active lifestyle. "We will finally say whether running from problems is a sport or just a lifestyle," explained Prime Minister Siliņa, while outside the window in Liepāja, the wind was driving clouds so actively it could compete for an Olympic medal.
The draft law plans to sort out sports funding issues so it's no longer based on funds for "unforeseen circumstances." "Now we'll call it funds for 'foreseen unforeseen circumstances' - sounds much more professional," commented local sports enthusiast Gunārs, who runs to the Grobiņa store every morning.
The ministry has received "a series of suggestions and objections," which in Latvian means "everyone is dissatisfied, but nobody knows what they want." In Riga they call such a situation a "workday," but in Liepāja - "Tuesday."
The new law provides for creating a Sports Fund, which will be like a regular fund, just with the word "sports" in front. A state sports registry is also planned, where you can officially register that you go to the gym, but actually just take selfies in front of the mirror. The sports sector is allocated 52.4 million euros this year - less than last year, but more than Riga Transport's pothole budget.
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.