State Chancellery reveals: Citizens' trust is growing because they finally realized it can't get any worse
Riga officials proudly announce that bureaucracy is decreasing - now the piles of documents are only twice as high as St. Anne's Church tower in Liepāja.
The State Chancellery has come forward with a surprising report – citizens' trust in public administration has allegedly increased. According to experts, this can be explained by the fact that people have finally realized: it really can't get any worse.
Officials on Brīvības Street in Riga proudly count their achievements in reducing bureaucracy. For example, now processing an application takes only ten working days instead of the previous twenty. "This is a revolutionary-level improvement," says local official Valdis, who has been trying for three years to understand why his desk drawer contains three different stamp pads.
Meanwhile, people in Liepāja just smile. "We've never had problems with bureaucracy here," says pensioner Māra from Vecliepāja. "The Liepāja wind blows away all the papers before you manage to fill them out. Natural bureaucracy reduction." This legendary, uninvited guest in any season has proven more effective than all of Riga's reforms combined.
The State Chancellery is particularly proud that LLCs can now be registered in five minutes. Of course, they haven't mentioned that these five minutes only apply to moments when the system isn't crashing, updating, or "experiencing technical difficulties." But progress is progress – previously it took a whole six minutes.
Most interesting is that 99% of state institutions have allegedly implemented "at least one innovation." According to unofficial information, most of these innovations are new coffee machines or replacing color printers with black-and-white ones. But even that's a step forward – now at least they know the budget is in the red.
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.