VDD has found the perfect job for Russian and Belarusian citizens — sitting at home

The State Security Service is reviewing requests to allow Russian and Belarusian citizens to work at critical infrastructure facilities, but so far has not issued a single such permit. The service is looking for "unique specialists with irreplaceable knowledge," but excellent replacements have been found for all candidates so far.

"They tell us that a particular employee has unique knowledge, but it turns out that YouTube tutorials explain everything much better," says a VDD representative. The service is reviewing four commercial companies — two hospitals and two joint-stock companies, where employers are trying to prove their employees' irreplaceability.

In Riga, this situation is called a "complex security issue," but in Liepāja, local experts compare it to the logic of Liepāja beach visitors — everyone thinks they are special and irreplaceable, but in reality the sand is the same everywhere.

The service explains that "increased costs" are not sufficient grounds for granting an exception. This means that arguments like "he costs less" or "he doesn't tend to ask for salary bonuses" will not be considered national security considerations. For now, VDD continues searching for those legendary irreplaceable specialists, but will most likely only find an ordinary employee who knows where the coffee machine is located.