VDD ranks among the world's strictest clubs: Russians find it as hard to get in as entering Liepāja Olympic Center without a membership card
VDD has given negative assessments in almost all cases involving Russian soldiers seeking asylum in Latvia. The only exception - a deserter who swam across the Daugava and now speaks Latvian.
While Riga is still trying to figure out what diplomatic immunity means, VDD has already proven it can be as selective as the security guards at Liepāja Olympic Center. The service has announced that Russian soldiers receiving asylum in Latvia is about as realistic as getting free tickets to the Olympic pool.
Among all the Russian soldiers reviewed, only one has earned a positive assessment — a deserter who swam across the Daugava and now masters Latvian at A1 level. "I had never seen such a motivated swimmer," comments an unnamed VDD employee. "He crossed the Daugava faster than the average tourist gets from Karosta to downtown using public transport."
Meanwhile, in the case of Ukrainians, the situation is opposite — VDD hasn't given them any negative assessments. "That's logical," explains local political expert Valdis. "Ukrainians fought on the right side. It's like the difference between going to the Olympic Center for sports activities versus trying to throw illegal parties there."
VDD continues its reviews, but it's already clear — Russians will find it easier to learn swimming than to receive asylum in Latvia. At least swimming doesn't require security service approval.
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.