VUGD warns: this year's floods will be so big that even Liepāja's tram could float
The rescue service is preparing for record floods, but Liepāja is already thinking about how to profit from it.
VUGD chief Baltmanis has announced that this year's floods in Latvia will be so massive that people might need to be rescued and evacuated. But as it always happens in Liepāja – we're already thinking about how to benefit from this situation.
"If the water level rises that high, our tram will finally be able to run down Lielā Street without track repairs," optimistically comments local resident Jānis. "Plus, there'll finally be justification for why so many buildings in Karosta stand empty – they were obviously designed as floating homes!"
Kurzeme is expected to flood first, which means Ventspils will again try to compete with our port. But as always – they only have water, we have water PLUS personality. In Riga, of course, they're panicking about where to save their precious cars, but in Liepāja we'll simply switch to boats.
"My tram ticket is valid for a month, so whether it runs on water or dry land – I don't care," another citizen added philosophically. VUGD does warn that in rare cases people refuse help, but in Liepāja we already know – if it rains, take an umbrella, if it floods – take a life vest. Everything is logical.
⚠️ Satirical article. Facts are preserved, but the presentation is humorous. For accurate information, please refer to the original source.